14 weeks-not for the squeemish

I saw a fetal medicine specialist on March 5th. I'll be seeing him for the remainder of my pregnancy, as well as my regular midwife. His equipment is much more advanced than the military clinic. He said that the placenta/uterus was working fine (on the ultra sound), so he wasn't too concerned about the subchorionic hematoma. I've been bleeding "old" blood (brown) since I went to the ER for the hemorrhage on February 20th. The doctor said that was normal for a few weeks. He also said that, if you run a mile, your legs will tell you to take it easy, because they will hurt the next day. Not so with your uterus. It may not hurt. It will just bleed. So, I have to take it easy.

My Mom has been here for a week & a half. She's been cooking & cleaning & playing with Abbie. (I feel bad--she had back surgery 2 years ago--I should be taking care of her!) My Dad is coming at the end of March to pick her up. Then I'm on my own.

Tuesday morning, we made a weekly trip to Walmart for groceries. After lunch, I went pee & there was fresh, red blood. Unsettling. I called the nurse line at the hospital's OB clinic. They told me that as long as I wasn't filling more than one pad in 1/2 hour, I was O.K. to stay at home, sit & put up my feet & drink lots of fluids. No more red blood today--back to the brown stuff.

So, pretty much, I worry every time I pee & every time I have any kind of abdominal pain. (Being pregnant at 39, you have a lot of pain--it's pretty normal.) I hope I don't see red blood. The brown blood is still a bit unnerving. I know I'm not 'spose to worry, but it's hard not to.

As of yesterday, I'm at 14 weeks.

The second trimester.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

Day to Day stuff

I started a blog so I could write about little daily things that I didn't want to forget. That is what this post is--daily details to remember.

Last Friday we had a scare. I was having some pain--lots of pain. I figured I'm old & pregnant & pain is part of the territory. So I laid down on the bed for a bit. I called Jim & left a message on his voice mail. (He just got the message yesterday--great cell phone service.) Abbie broke out her toy doctor's kit & started giving me a check-up. She is so cute.

After about 15 minutes of no relief, I got up to pee. (Always got to pee!) There was a lot of blood. It just kept coming. Being 11.5 weeks pregnant at that time, you can imagine the terrible thoughts racing through my mind. I slapped on a BIG pad & made my way downstairs to find my medical file & the phone number to the OB clinic at CLNC. When I called, they told me to go to the ER.

I called Jim, again. I got his voice mail, again. He called back quickly & I told him I needed to go to the ER but didn't think I could drive. Jim called our good friend, Barb, who happened to be off from work that day & only lives 3 miles away. Barb came right away & whisked Abbie & me to the Naval Hospital ER, where Jim was waiting. He had already checked me in.

I waited about 1.5 - 2 hours before I was placed in a room. Waited another 1/2 hour to see the doctor. They did an ultrasound--the baby was still there & moving around! The ultrasound showed that I had a subchorionic hematoma (hemorrhage.) It was large enough to see on the ultrasound. I was told to stay off my feet & take it easy.

After seeing the ultrasound picture, Abbie asked if the baby was in it's swing.

Jim freaked out & put me on bed rest. Bed rest will kill me. Jim waited on my hand & foot all weekend. I sat. Sitting around makes you sick.

I had a regular OB appointment on Monday. The midwife didn't tell us anymore than what we had learned from our internet research. We listened to the baby's heartbeat. I have an appointment with a fetal medicine specialist on March 5th. My midwife said that he would know more about my situation.

Subchorionic hematoma is common in about 25% of pregnancies. There is nothing a mother can do to prevent it & there is nothing she did to cause it. It just happens. There are 3 outcomes: it clears up on its own, it continues throughout the pregnancy until delivery, it doesn't get better & the baby is lost. I'm takin' it easy & prayin' hard.

Abbie asks about heaven all the time. Her & Jim got on the conversation of asking Jesus into her heart. She was not ready to do that during one of their initial talks. On their way home from church this past Sunday (I was at home---sitting.), Abbie said that she was ready to ask Jesus into her heart. She said, "Jesus please come into my heart. Now I can go to heaven." Simple.

You pray for your children, before they're even born, to make this important, life-changing decision. I don't think she really understands this decision yet, but at least she's going in the right direction.

Yesterday morning during breakfast, Abbie asked me if Jesus was still in her heart. I told her yes, He would never leave her. Then she asked if, when we get to heaven, will Jesus come out so she can see Him? She is so cute. Childlike faith.

Yes, we will see Jesus in heaven.

I hope to see you there, too.

Michigan Welcome

Jim & I made our first trip to Michigan, as a married couple, in August 1997. This would be Jim's first time to meet my family & friends, so we were both excited.

We were driving up from Jacksonville, NC. As we travelled on I-75, coming out of Toledo, OH, and into the always-present construction in that area, we were looking for the "Welcome to Michigan" sign.

We were in bumper to bumper traffic. There was an on ramp, joining the long line of vehicles on the interstate. Every once in awhile, a vehicle would barrel down the on ramp & sneak into the line somewhere ahead of us. Eventually, we moved forward. From behind us, a pick-up truck zipped past & forced its way into the line directly in front of us. We didn't even know it was coming. The driver, held up his middle finger in the back window for us to see. Then we saw the "Welcome to Michigan" sign on the side of the interstate. I told Jim, "There's your Michigan welcome."

We laugh about it now, but in reality, it's kind of sad. I grew up in this state-this culture, where rude people were the "norm." People are more self-serving & self-centered where I grew up. I was so accustomed to it, that it didn't really faze me--it was normal. Sad to say, I've taken a bit of that attitude as my own.

On the other hand, Jim grew up in a bubble. South Dakota. Where everyone is your neighbor (or relative--ha ha.) Everyone is generally polite, gracious & helpful. This, I was to find out on my first trip to South Dakota in January 2001. It was a whole different civilization. Unreal.

Oh yes, there are exceptions to every stereotype. I'm sure there are some rude people in SD. (?? not) And there are nice people in Michigan. (My family & friends are an exception--but they still know what I'm talking about!)

Then there are Christians. It's hard to say that all Christians are nice. It's just not true. That's sad, too. Of course, the word "Christian" has been misused. Christ's name has been misused. People call themselves Christians, when they have no idea what being a Christian means.

I propose we use a new name: Godstock.

We are Godstock!

We are children of God! As such, we should act like it. We should be like Christ. I know, we are still human. We have our faults--we're not without sin. We have our good days & our bad days. But remember, we are Godstock!

Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness."

Ephesians 5:1 (NIV)

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."